My Worst Finishers: Round 2

After much response from last week’s article and talking to people on Twitter. People are pretty passionate about terrible finishing maneuvers. So this week I bring you five more terrible finishing maneuvers.

Sit-Out Facebuster: Billy Kidman: Billy Kidman was a really great wrestler and is one of the few wrestlers who holds a clean pin over Hulk Hogan. Kidman had some really pretty finishers too. He had a great Shooting Star Press and his normal Sit-Out facebuster was fine. Kidman for awhile only used this finisher as a counter to a powerbomb which meant in order to use his finisher the wrestler HAD to use a powerbomb.

This is not a big deal in the case of wrestlers who regularly used powerbombs. If Kidman was wrestling Sid Vicious and countered his powerbomb into a facebuster to get the win, it looked great. But it meant that even wrestlers like Konnan, who didn’t use a powerbomb, had to awkwardly make it part of their moveset. It also made the wrestler look like a moron for using the one move you can’t use on  Billy Kidman.

Running Splash: Ultimate Warrior: I think it was a rule that every big man needed to use the running splash at some point. Kamala, King Kong Bundy, and Uncle Elmer all had versions of this and that is fine. You can imagine that having a 450-pound man jump on you would hurt. The Ultimate Warrior, however, was not 450 pounds.

He would hit the turnbuckle and dive on you but it never looked like a splash. It looked like the prelude to a tickle fight. It was especially bad since people were already using a splash from the top ropes. In comparison, this looked weak.



The Coco Butt: Bobo Brazil: Look Bobo Brazil wrestled in 6 different decades, he broke racial barriers wherever he went BUT the headbutt is a dumb move and a dumber finisher. Let’s say you want to kick in a door but instead you use your head. As you slam into the door you receive as much impact as the door.

Do enough damage to break open the door and you should also do enough to break open your head. Brazi’s Coco Butt was especially egregious because he danced around for five minutes before doing it. His poor opponent used to have to stand there and act dazed. Stupid move in general. Very stupid finisher.



The Airplane Spin: Mike Rotundo: Remember how when you were a kid and couldn’t get drunk so instead you’d spin around and around and make yourself dizzy. No? Okay, I was a weird kid but if you had it took barely any spinning before you were pretty damn dizzy.

Surprisingly the addition of a guy on your shoulder does not make you any less dizzy. Like the headbutt, any dizziness suffered by your opponent is also suffered by you. Then the question becomes what do you do with the guy afterward. Well If you were Mike Rotundo you sort of dropped him sort of slammed him. Terrible finisher.



Trip to the Batcave: Bastion Booger:  Poor Mike Shaw was stuck with terrible gimmicks. Read my article on Garbage Gimmicks for more information but for a short time, he was Bastion Booger who was…..gross. Smelly, nose picking, fat …gross. Now, this is not really a gimmick so much as every 15 year old but what really set Booger apart was his finisher.

Look, I’m not going to lie, if a big fat guy sat on my chest I’m sure it would hurt….a lot but this maneuver looked awful. It wasn’t from the top rope like Doink, or the second turnbuckle like Yokozuna. Booger would bounce off the rope, getting a little momentum as possible and sit down on his opponent. Please watch this wherever you see your wrestling videos. It looks unbelievably lame.



  Wrestling moves hurt. If Daniel Bryan scoop slammed me, I’d be in pain for a week but a finisher can’t just hurt. It should be enough that it hurts SO badly that you can’t move for three seconds. None of these moves fit that bill.

 

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