Wrestling Reign Math

I’m a math guy and a wrestling fan, and decided to use those skills to find the ten worst title reigns of all time. The formula I used was the skill of the wrestler (0-10) * How they won it (1-5) + number of months the title was held. This will be a two-part episode so be sure to read the follow up next week. Here are the worst title reigns of all time.



David Arquette: WCW World Title: (0*0+0)=0:

David Arquette was making a movie called Ready to Rumble featuring a number of WCW wrestlers. Vince Russo, the booker at the time, thought they could promote the movie by having him interfere in several matches on the side of Diamond Dallas Page. A match was set up where DDP and Arquette wrestled Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff with the person getting the pin winning the WCW title. Arquette pinned Eric Bischoff and became the champion. Arquette gets a score of zero because he wasn’t a wrestler and publically stated that he thought it was a bad idea to win the title. The match gets a zero because the person who lost the title was Arquette’s partner and that is just moronic and finally his reign was less than a month giving us a score of zero.

20_Absurd_Champions
WWE.com

 

Vince Russo: WCW World Title:(0*0+0)=0:

Vince Russo was the head booker for WCW and was in a feud with the faces in WCW. This included the WCW champion, Booker T, and Goldberg. Russo booked himself in a cage match with Booker T. Goldberg interfered and speared Russo threw the cage but because Russo had “escaped” the cage first he won the title. Russo gets a score of zero as once again he is not a wrestler. The match gets a zero because there is NO reason Booker T shouldn’t have destroyed Russo and walked out of the cage. Keeping Russo in the match at all was stupid. Then, the ending, having Goldberg interfere and spear Russo through the cage giving him the championship, makes no sense at all. Russo vacated the title the following week on Nitro meaning he held the belt for less than a month.



Judy Bagwell: WCW World Tag Team Title:(0*0+0)=0:

Rick Steiner was feuding with the NWO including his own brother Scott and The Giant (the Big Show). Rick began to team with Buff Bagwell who, after winning the belts with Rick, turned on him and joined the NWO. Steiner was allowed to pick a new partner and chose ….Judy Bagwell, Buff’s mother, before finally choosing Kenny Kaos. Judy gets a zero because not only wasn’t she a wrestler but in her 50’s when chosen. The match gets a zero because there was no match…..Rick Steiner chose her and they never defended the title as no one wanted to risk her getting injured. Rick Steiner chose Kenny Kaos the next week meaning she held the title less than a month.

47_Absurd_Champions
WWE.com



Debra: WWE Women’s Title (1*0 +1)=1:

During the 90’s the WWE loved stipulation matches, especially for its female wrestlers. Debra fought Sable in an evening gown match and, despite losing, won the title anyway. Debra get a one as she has some rudimentary training as a wrestler she was not as talented as Sable (a backward compliment for Sable) but basic training. The match however….Shawn Michaels was the special guest referee because, of course, he was, Sable quickly stripped Debra of her evening gown winning the match BUT Michaels loved how Debra looked in her underwear and awarded her the belt…ugh. Debra held the belt for a month giving her a score of one.



Black Bart: World Class Championship Wrestling World Champion: ( 5 *0 +1)=1

World Class Championship Wrestling was out of Texas and had a long history under the NWA banner. In 1986 booker, Fritz Von Erich decided to leave the NWA and form his own independent wrestling organization with Rick Rude as his first champion. Eventually, the title was won by Chris Adams who, not under contract at the time, accepted more money from the UWF and left the area. Black Bart was named the new champion. Black Bart was an average wrestler who, by 1986, was getting ready to retire. Nevertheless, he’d have made a fine transitional champ and earned a five. There is a long history in wrestling of title changes that never happened.

Blackbart
prowrestling.wikia.com

The most famous is Pat Patterson winning the Intercontinental Title in Rio De Janeiro in a tournament that never really happened. By 1986, however, this method of taking a title off a former champion was out of style. Black Bart was announced as winning the match “on the West Coast” from Chris Adams in a match that never occurred and then a month later lost the title to Kevin Von Erich in a match that probably never occurred either. Although he gets a point for holding the title for a month his phantom win and loss earn him a zero.

 

 



Most experts agree that a title reign has three components: who held it, how they won it and how long they held it. According to MY calculation, these are the worst title reigns of all time.

 

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