A few weeks ago I did a well-received article on quantifying the worst title reigns of all times. Once again, the formula I used was skill of wrestler (0-10) * How they won it (1-5) + number of months the title was held. The low number does not always reflect the wrestler (though it often does) but the circumstance under which they won or how the title was defended.
Pacman Jones: TNA Tag Team: (2*0+1)=1:
If you don’t know who Adam “Pacman” Jones was, he was an American football player for, at the time, the Tennessee Titans. In 2007, he was suspended from the NFL for numerous run-ins with the law. He joined TNA where he won the tag team title with Ron Killings (R-Truth) from Kurt Angle and Sting. Jones gets a score of 2 because, although not a wrestler, he was a high caliber athlete. The title reign gets a 0 because Jones couldn’t wrestle.
Not that he was a bad wrestler but that he never wrestled at all and wasn’t legally allowed to. According to his NFL contract, he was not allowed to get physically involved in the match. You’d think therefore no one would want him as a partner. Ron Killings did though Jones was just never tagged in and left the company before he could even drop the belt. “Team Pacman” held the title for a month but by the time they dropped it Jones had already left to start a record label.
Jim Duggan: WCW TV Title: (6*0+2)=2:
Jim Duggan was using a janitor gimmick in WCW (because of course, he was) when he found the WCW TV title in the trash. He defended it for 2 months and then….stopped. Duggan gets a score of six as he is a journeyman wrestler who can be a great face at times. The match gets a zero because he found the title belt….in the trash, defended it for no real reason and then 2 months later….just stopped. Jim Duggan technically held the belt for 2 months although it’s not exactly clear when he stopped defending it.
Kenny Kaos: WCW World Tag Team Title: (3*0+2)=2:
We talked in the last article how Rick Steiner was feuding with the NWO and when Buff Bagwell turned on Steiner he chose….Judy Bagwell, Buff’s mother as his partner. Naturally, Rick couldn’t defend his titles with a 50-year-old woman so he chose Kenny Kaos, a rookie, as her replacement. Kaos gets a three because he was a rookie and only wrestled for another year before he retired.
The match gets a zero because there was no match…..Rick Steiner chose Kenny as Judy’s replacement, already making the title look stupid, and then vacated the belts due to injury. Rick Steiner and Kenny Kaos only defended the belts for 2 months before Rick was injured.
Vince McMahon: ECW World Title: (2*1 +2)=4:
Vince McMahon can do what he wants as chairman of the WWE including ruining a famous promotion for spite. When the WWE purchased ECW it obviously had no clue what to do with the brand and this was no clearer than Vince winning the title from Bobby Lashley in a three on one handicap match. Vince gets a two as he is in great shape, for a man of his age, and has some rudimentary wrestling talent.
The match gets a one as there is no way a face should ever lose in a Three on One handicap match. What does that even prove? To make it worse, Vince changed the rules of every match where he defended the belt making the belt even less valuable. Vince held the belt for two months before losing it back to Lashley but the damage had been done.
Great Khali: WWE World Champion: ( 4 *2 +2)=10:
Vince McMahon and the WWE have a history of loving big men and say what you will about the Great Khali but he is massive. When Edge vacated his belt due to injury, a battle royal was held which the Great Khali won to almost no one’s pleasure. Khali gets a four because he’s a big guy….and that’s it….in every other department he is decidedly below average.
The match gets a two as he won it in a battle royal where he had a hard time eliminating anyone without being out of breath. His title reign was a failure too as no one could get a good match out of him. Finally, after two months he dropped the title to Batista.
When you look at a title reign it doesn’t just matter who won it but now let me know if you enjoy title reign math as I have enough wrestlers for a third edition.